The Beginning: Subtle Signs That Didn’t Seem Dangerous
It all started with small gestures—a coworker who seemed just a little too eager to help, lingering a few seconds too long, showing up wherever I happened to be. At first, I told myself it was nothing. Maybe Will was just being friendly or a bit socially awkward. I didn’t want to be mean or make assumptions.
But what seemed like harmless attention quickly turned into patterns I couldn’t ignore. His presence wasn’t accidental—it was intentional. He found ways to show up during my breaks, casually switching bagging lanes to end up next to me, and inserting himself into my conversations with other coworkers.
The Shift: From Friendly to Uncomfortable
Soon, the small gestures became relentless. Will started messaging me on Snapchat constantly—reacting to every story, commenting on photos, and sending snaps that didn’t require a response but demanded attention.
If I didn’t respond quickly, he’d bring it up the next day at work. “Did you see my snap?” or “Guess you’re too busy for me now.” It felt like I couldn’t post anything without being monitored. My phone, once a place of connection and fun, became a source of anxiety.
And then came the guilt trips. He’d text me late at night saying things like, “I just don’t get why no one cares about me,” or “I feel like I’m always chasing people who don’t want me around.” These were not just casual complaints—they were manipulations designed to make me feel responsible for his emotional well-being.
Crossing the Line: Guilt and Control
What made it even scarier was that Will never made overt threats. He didn’t show up outside my house or send frightening messages. Instead, he made me question myself. Was I being paranoid? Was I overreacting? He made me feel like the bad person for wanting space.
I told myself it would pass, that if I stayed polite but distant, he would eventually lose interest. But instead, he only became more persistent. He started offering me rides to work, even though I told him I had other arrangements. He inserted himself into every part of my life that he could access.
When Blocking Isn’t the End
Finally, after months of stress and uncomfortable interactions, I blocked him on Snapchat, Instagram, and Twitch. I thought that would be the end. But it wasn’t. He messaged me on Twitter, asking what he had done wrong, why I had “cut him out,” and begging for an explanation.
Even after I explained that I didn’t share the same feelings and needed distance, he continued to reach out through mutual friends, fishing for information and sympathy. He painted himself as the victim, convincing others I was cruel and cold-hearted for pulling away.
The Lesson: Trust Your Instincts
Looking back now, I wish I had listened to that uneasy feeling much sooner. If someone makes you uncomfortable, you don’t owe them your time, kindness, or an explanation. Setting boundaries isn’t cruel—it’s necessary.
Too often, we second-guess ourselves, wondering if we overreact or are unfair. But discomfort is reason enough. Your gut instincts are there for a reason.
Taking Back My Story
Writing My Almost Stalker became my way of taking control. It allowed me to share my experience and hopefully help others recognize the red flags I tried to ignore. Emotional manipulation, guilt-tripping, and subtle control are still forms of stalking—even if they don’t look like the dramatic stories you see on TV.
You Are Not Alone
If you’ve ever been in a similar situation—if you’ve felt trapped by someone’s unwanted attention, doubted your instincts, or felt guilty about maintaining a connection you didn’t want—know that you are not alone.
You have every right to protect your space, peace, and mental health. You are allowed to say no, block, ignore, and walk away without explaining yourself.
My Message to You
I’ve learned that protecting my peace is my responsibility, and it starts with trusting myself. When something feels off, I listen to that inner voice — it’s there to guide me. I set boundaries, I keep them, and I remind myself that I never need to feel guilty for putting my well-being first.
One thing I always want others to know is that you don’t have to face difficult moments alone. I’ve found that there’s always someone who cares, who will listen, and who will stand beside you with understanding and support. All you need to do is reach out.
